Sometimes loved ones die suddenly or too far away. Jobs can come to a screeching halt without warning. Natural disasters wipe out towns, turning whole lives upside down. Sudden endings happen, leaving us with words unsaid and unheard.
Here are six ways that you can make your goodbye real and give you a healthier ending. The words will be said, the actions taken and they will set the stage for your new beginning.
Discuss About Your Relationship
The most rational way of breaking-up is to try to make your partner see that your relationships are done for. You can ask your boyfriend or girlfriend what he or she thinks about your relationships or what your date expects of them, or if he or she feels that something goes wrong. If your partner has the same doubts and uncertainty of your future you may be free to say him ‘goodbye’, but if he or she claims to be crazy about you, the only thing you can do is to say that your feelings have changed and ask him to give you some time to think.
Don’t have a friend do it or send him a text. At the least, tell him you need to talk and try to do it so that you can both be part of a live, active conversation. A phone call is the easiest way if you are too nervous to do it in person, but resist the temptation to start a texting breakup conversation. There are a couple of reasons why texting is not a good way to do it gently. First of all, you have a written correspondence stored in your phone, which means it could be a reminder, or someone could steal his phone and read everything. Also, text messages can be confusing. You might think you’ve officially broken up, while he is still questioning.
Arrange a Last Date
Speak to him face to face. If you say goodbye abruptly via text, a short email or a clipped phone conversation, you’re likely to have a lot of unanswered questions and things that will be left unsaid. In order to find closure, go out for a casual lunch or coffee just to talk. It’s okay to talk about where you went wrong as long as you don’t start arguing or yelling. The best way to say goodbye is to thank each other for the good memories, forgive each other for the bad, hug one last time and walk away without looking back. [Read: Best Tips for Successful Dating]
If you are to break up because you are angry about something, express yourself. But remember that you are not a victim. You can come and go as you please, and you are. If you are angry, chances are you are mad at yourself for not seeing who this person was earlier, or for not trusting your own instincts.
Tell Him You are Not Happy
You don’t really need to break up instantly. Even before thinking of breaking up, understand his feelings for you. If you’ve been going through a bad phase in your relationship and are contemplating a break up, let him know that you’re unhappy in the relationship.
Don’t tell him you want to break up, just let him know that you’re not happy with the direction your relationship is heading. Both of you are in love and it would be unfair to spring a surprise on him out of the blue, without really giving your relationship a chance. See if his attitude changes or if he takes an initiative to make you happy.
Tempt Him to Do it
I’ve got it! If you really don’t want to be the bad girl, do whatever you have to do to get him to break up with you! Acquire some really offensive bad habits. Start moving your stuff into his apartment. Stop practicing good hygiene. Really push that marriage thing. Discuss possible baby names with him. Buy matching clothes for the two of you. Pee with the door open. Flirt with his friends.
Once you’ve had this difficult conversation, honestly and directly, in the right place and time, with no fights, you’re almost there. The aftermath is just as crucial as the actual breakup. Walk away. Let them be. Be an adult if you have an accidental run-in. And by all means, you made this bed, so be prepared to lie in it. Don’t tease them about getting back together if you really have no intentions of doing so.
Tell Him You are Having some Disease
This might paint an ugly picture in his head. You could simple say VD or you could get specific, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and crabs would suggest you’ve been with someone else recently, something that you have forever could have been contracted years ago, and many men, you’d be surprised how many, can accept it and work around your life-long affliction. Stick to something develops within a couple days and requires a week-long treatment to clear up. If that doesn’t scare him off, maybe he’s someone you should keep, or run far far away from, depending on his actions after you’ve told him this.
Do not ask for a cool-off when what you actually want is to end the relationship and think about beginning a new relationship with another person. Let him know the truth so that he will not wait and cling to any false promises. You’re preventing that person from moving on with his life.
Conclusion. Friends can be lovers, but old lovers can not be friends. Yes, some old friends become lovers, [Read: Can You be Friend with Your Ex After Breakup] – but after a healing period has passed. But not all lovers eventually become friends. Others still have resentment, some simply lose touch, and some just do not care about you anymore.
Once you have reached a decision, call things by your friend instead of prolonging the inevitable – that is cheating aware that the chance of true happiness. Just remember that part as friends. It is childish to pretend that the other person does not exist when it’s over. Still, adhere to the rule of no contact for a while. Dense space to heal and move on.