Many of us have been there. One minute you’re having a conversation, maybe a minor argument, but that’s okay, everything is under control. Then you say something – a word or a passing comment, something relatively harmless, or so I think – and that the launches. As soon as it comes out of his mouth, the air changes, and there is no easy way back.
There are some things men should never say to their wives – conversational landmines that seem insignificant at first glance, but they are anything but. The good news is that we know that, for the most part, they are. Many men have experienced before. It would be wise to heed his advice.
Never Say These Words to Women
We are fully aware that this pisses women off, but we do it anyway. To be honest, women brought this on themselves, they get so angry when you don’t answer a text message and you don’t always have time to give an in-depth response. Personally, if you have time to write an essay via 4-5 text messages to me, I reserve the right to “ok” the text and move on with my day.
If you really want to piss her off, just don’t respond to her text message. I used to be good for the, “It sounded like you were talking about a whole bunch and I didn’t get what you were talking about so I just didn’t respond.” Well, that and my never ending struggle with just not replying to text messages for days.
It might seem logical to you to tell a woman who’s freaking out to relax. And if “logical” meant the same thing as “stupidest idea ever,” you’d be correct. Understand, a woman screaming and crying on in anger or frustration or panic thinks that her response is 100 percent appropriate. If the inciting situation has anything to do with you, she feels she has a responsibility to freak out extra to compensate for your maddening calm.
So when you tell her to relax, you’re implying that your response–i.e., nothing–is correct. You’re denying that there’s a reason to be upset. You’re telling her she’s crazy. Women may sometimes feel crazy and joke about it, but anything smacking of accusations of being crazy will be far from soothing.
One sure way to escalate a minor tiff into a nuclear showdown is to use words like “never” and “always.” They’re too sweeping to be true, so you’ll not only upset her, but also give her the opportunity to prove you wrong and seize the higher ground. And it tends to drag every other argument you’ve had into your present one, which is like rehashing all the worst parts of your relationship all at once.
You Look Like Your Mom
Now, unless her mother is a yummy mummy and everyone knows it, you are better off not saying this to a gal. For one thing, she does not want to associate herself with her mom, and second, you are saying that she looks old. Instead, ask her whether she thinks she looks more like her mom or her dad, but even then you’re opening a can of worms. Just leave this topic alone.
Talking About Future
Often when guys are hanging out with a woman for the first time and she mentions something she likes or likes to do, a guy will use that as an opportunity to hint at a future date. For example, she might say she loves Thai food, so you say, “Wow, so do I. We should go get Thai food sometime.” Stop, stop, stop, stop! While this sounds good in theory, you must remember that women not only want but need a guy who is somewhat of a “challenge.” If partway through the first date you are talking about hanging out again and again and again, she knows that you are really into her, which means the game is over and she has won. Sure, it’s nice to connect with someone when you first hang out with them, and of course you should want to do some fun activities together, but don’t let her know that she has “won you over” too quickly or you’ll come off just like every other guy she’s gone out with that is ready to “put a ring on it” after date No. 1. [Read: How to Show that You Care About Your Girl]
I Fogot my Wallet
You’re not in college anymore man! What? Do you expect her to pay for that large pizza with pepperoni you just “wrestled” with? There are three simple rules to this “dating thing”: 1.If you invite someone out prepare to pay the bill. 2.If you both decided to go out, then it isn’t such a big deal if you split the bill. 3. Whatever happens, never leave your wallet at home. If you’re a gentleman, excuse yourself and FIND A WALLET! If you’re a deadbeat, lock yourself indoors until you find a decent job.
May I Take You Out on Date
Women like men to lead, to be in control. When you say something like this, just like in number 1 above, you lead her to believe you want to follow her. She is not looking for a wimp – but a man to be in control. Ask her out, but in a confident manner, something like, “Hey, let’s meet up for some drinks tonight.” Be specific, not wishy-washy, tell her the venue and the time. And also tell her you’d like her to be punctual. There is no harm in coming across as no-nonsense. It might win you brownie points. At the very least she will open her eyes and look at you.
May I Kiss You
You are a man who she is out on date with. By asking such a question you are putting yourself in jeopardy. A man should never ‘ask’ for a kiss, as it goes against everything a woman is looking for in a man. You may as well just tell her right there that you are a boy. Eight times of out nine, she is likely to say ‘no’ – so why even ask it in the first place? If you really want to kiss her, grab her and plant a passionate one on her lips and watch her expression – she is going to love you forever! [Read: Top Mistakes Made by Men in Bed]
She just wants to hear her own opinion but in a deeper voice… that’s your voice man! It doesn’t matter if she’s holding two identical dresses and asking you to pick-out the right one. It’s always a trap! Think about it this way: She just spent the past two and a half (days) hours getting ready for a romantic evening with you and now she wants to feel good about it. The correct answer should bring out the fact that she’s beautiful either way, that’s if you want to see her naked later that night.
The B word is like the N word: Unless you’ve been appropriately oppressed, you don’t get to use it. You might be able to pull off an ironic Snoop Dogg-style “beeeyatch,” so long as you’re smiling as you say it. But to say “b*tch” with any kind of intent is to pull the pin out of a grenade.