There is no end to published material intended stoking fears of women and anxieties about love and marriage. Preachy self-help books on relationships are a stunning cottage industry full of ideas disturbing about female sexuality, male desire and tips on what you can do better to meet the man of your dreams. According to these books, men are perfect creatures – their only fault is that they are usually hungry vagina-beasts (until they meet the right lady of course). [Read: Signs She is Serious and Wants to Marry]
Men are also told to be complicated enough to criticize every minutia of his being, so that their sentences should be the barometer for all female behavior. And all female behavior should lead to marriage, obviously. However, people are delaying marriage (or not marry at all) much more than they used to. Is it just because all women are crazy, angry liars, slut? Doubtful. Here are 10 reasons much more realistic to what you are probably not married:
You are Hunting for a Husband
Taking an example of a story in which a girl name Wendy meets a man, she hears wedding bells, pictures herself moving in, and hears the pitter patter of little feet. With each man, her question is, “Is he marriage material?” She looks only at his financial accomplishments, his stability, and his eagerness to be married. Not that these are bad things, but her eagerness and focus on the marriage instead of the man usually scares him away.
If you’ve been husband-hunting like Wendy, you need to change your tactics. Don’t put all your eggs in any basket until he has committed to you first. Try dating several men at once, even possibly some men with no real long-term potential. Learn to take the pressure off and have fun with a man. Besides, you need to evaluate each one and instead of trying to convince him that you’re the one for him, ask, “Is he really the man for me?” At some point, you’ll probably find one you actually bond with and will end up married to the “right” guy.
You Have Bigger Dreams
You see beautiful women with diamonds on their fingers who are wined and dined, and that’s what you want. Forget the “average” relationship most people settle for. Like it is said, “It’s as easy to marry a millionaire as it is a poor man.” But you’re still waiting for yours. You’ve met some rich guys along the way, but none of them have really panned out. You sure have enjoyed the ride though – the trips, the exciting people, the lifestyle!
You are Too Rigid
You will never have a successful marriage unless you have a willingness to compromise. [Read: 10 Biggest Secrets to a Happy Married Life]. You could either be a selfish person and have everything your way or be selfless and focus on your loved one. If you choose to go with the former choice, marriage is not a good idea for you.
Selfishness is about approaching men in terms of yourself–how they make you feel, how they make you look, what they’ll bring to your life or what they won’t. So stop being selfish and listen to what your partner’s demand is.
Looks Matter a Lot
Looks always matters the most. Most men like slim smart woman with beautiful hair [Read: Why Men Like Women with Long Hair]. Keeping in mind your boyfriend’s demand why don’t you go to the gym more or less so that your body is more meaty or lean for the sexual pleasure of your male companion? Whether you are eating or not? You should or should not. You’ll never get married now.
Both men and women have a Feminine and a Masculine behavior, what the Chinese call the yin and yang, which are interrelated parts of a whole if you’re a regular American chick, who goes to work every day and focuses on performing tasks and accomplishing them in a directed, linear, focused way, you are spending the majority of your waking hours in your Masculine.
You feel like your age has afforded you the experience and wisdom necessary to make you a better partner. You feel like your youth has given you the energy to be patient and open minded. Neither of these things is correct. You’re old and dried up or you’re a naive child trophy wife. No one wants that.
“I’d like to have children someday” you say, because you are crazed with the idea of babies. “I’m not sure if I want to have children” you say, because you’re selfish and masculine. Women who want or don’t want children are not desirable for marriage. If you’re not married, it may be well because you do or don’t want to have children of your own someday. Man repellent!
You are a Liar
It usually goes something like this: you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he’s not really available for a relationship. He has some condition that absolutely precludes his availability, like he’s married, or he gets around town on a skateboard. Or maybe he just comes right out and says something cryptic and open to interpretation like, “I’m not really available for a relationship right now.”
You know if you tell him the truth — that you’re ready for marriage — he will stop calling. Usually that day. And you don’t want that. So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to made love for fun! You love having fun sex! And you don’t want to get in a relationship at all! You swear!
You are a Slut
Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore — but they’re not trying to get married. But, unfortunately, if you’re having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop it. Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin — it doesn’t stay recreational for long. [Read: How to Tell that He Only Wants Sex]
That’s due in part to this thing called oxytocin — a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm — that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It’s why you can be having a final relationship with some dude who isn’t even all that great and the next thing you know, you’re totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that’s how it happened. And since nature can’t discriminate between marriage material and non-marriage material, you’re going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.