Approximately 40% of men seek sexual satisfaction, [Read: Mistakes Made by Men in Bed While Making Love] outside their relationships, estimates Kat Hertlein, Ph.D., professor of human development at the University of Nevada – Las Vegas and a marriage and family therapist. That number hasn’t changed much since 1950, when the famous Kinsey sex study found that 50% of U.S. men cheat at some point in their marriages.
Statistics indicate that cheating is much more common than we might believe men and women. Janis Abrahms Spring, author of “After the case,” says infidelity now affects one in every 2.7 couples. Then there are the dating site for married people looking to have affairs which boast of having nearly millions of anonymous members. It is clear that something is missing in many marriages today.
Based on my own life and the conversations I had with other men, including my coaching clients male, I assembled the first five things that men look for when they decide to enter into an extramarital affair- Marriage – unconsciously seek in many cases. This is really not just for sex!
Reasons why Men Cheat on Women
1. Emotional Connection
As relationships mature, power struggles tend to become more frequent (as obvious as the “I’m right” / “No, I’m right” conversation and subtle as the timing and frequency of sexual intercourse). When a man experiences power struggles repeatedly with his wife, his natural tendency is to “go to his cave,” which means really quiet and distant and grumpy! Emotional connection that makes it even more difficult . Over time, it lacks the emotional connection he has felt with his spouse.
When he meets someone new and they accept for “who is” it is much easier for him to connect with his emotions and relationship with that person feel new and interesting. Of course, when lust and honeymoon period is over and the power struggles are beginning to emerge in the new relationship he will probably return to its well-learned model and its struggles will again.
This statement sounds so incredulous, but when you talk to men, especially in the age group 21-25 years some cheat because they are relentless in that they do not believe they will be caught and if they can s to draw what harm is being done to their relationship. I know that the answer is obviously very difficult, but in their minds and in the minds of women who cheat for the same reason, cheating takes place because they think they can get away with it.
Men loved to be appreciated and like so many people that they do not really know how to accept a review! Or how to ask or how to give themselves (or others for that matter). So, when it ceases to be a little less abundant and their spouse if the relationship has a high dose of blame and criticism (most do) or perhaps even contempt, men start looking for positive affirmations other. With any new love interest is wonderful – it is wonderful – in the first wave of a new relationship – so we all tend to fall into criticism and abandonment raise appreciation.
4. They fell in love
Sometimes men become so comfortable in a relationship, they do not know how to get out. They can stay in the relationship because of children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it elsewhere. In their minds, this is as close to win-win, as they can get.
Men want a partner who will listen, who volunteer information about their own lives and discoveries and someone who smiles and enthusiastically share their hopes and dreams. Of course, men do not usually know how to communicate it. In their existing relationship, the tendency is to think: “We got married, I know all about you …” In their new relationship, everything is new and exciting and learning about the new partner is approachable and sense of intimate connection is created.
6. Feeling wanted
Everyone wants to feel wanted, regardless of age, gender or occupation. Men are no different. And men tend to be socialized to ensure the safety and strength as an expectation, rather than something to be enjoyed. As life moves along a man can often feel like their contribution is taken for granted and that it is contrary to what he can bring, becomes less important. In a new report, suddenly, it is important again.
Speaking of fun, men in general do not want to have sex and the more the better. Sex is one of the ways in which men feel connected to their partner. Men also feel appreciated and wanted when they have sex with their partner. Thus, for men, sex provides the first four items on our list, more physical pleasure that allows men to focus entirely on the present moment. In a new report sex tends to be much more frequent. At least at the beginning!
8. Stress Relief
A mortgage, two kids, a car note, a demanding woman, and his career is a lot of weight for a man to wear. If marriage is long and poorly managed quite severely, many or all of the sexual chemistry can be drawn directly from the relationship because of seemingly more pressing issues, such as calling the plumber. This is a common scenario and a case is waiting to happen. A man loves his family and may even regret treason, but may still be in desperate need of a release. Even a single encounter with a colleague or a strange woman can be incredibly therapeutic renew vigor to be “the man” for his wife and family. He remains committed to his family, a light banter, say once a year, can have positive effects in general. And this is why a man can do.
9. Not tonight
Let’s face it. Men want sex more than women. So when their partner is tired of bickering children all day and do not want to try new things, even the most loyal hubbies get bored and go looking for nookie. More sexually permissive men who do not have equally adventurous partners are also more likely to wander. Their sexual values are simply not compatible.
10. It’s the thrill
Most guys who have affairs have come into contact with their inner caveman: They like to play with fire. “It adds a level of danger,” Santagati said, “and danger adds to the excitement.” By keeping surprise and sizzle in your sex life, a woman can keep the heat in the house so hot that her man will not have reason to cheat.